{"id":3054,"date":"2016-10-26T10:09:09","date_gmt":"2016-10-26T10:09:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/twistislamophobia.org\/en\/?p=3054"},"modified":"2017-03-13T12:40:12","modified_gmt":"2017-03-13T12:40:12","slug":"how-can-we-explain-islamophobia-to-our-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/twistislamophobia.org\/en\/2016\/10\/26\/how-can-we-explain-islamophobia-to-our-children\/","title":{"rendered":"How can we explain islamophobia to our children?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Waheeda Saif is a mental health counselor, working as a Trauma Respondent at the Riverside Trauma Center (Massachusetts, USA). Her experience, not only as a psychologist, but also as a Muslim, has made her face the need of talking with teenagers and children about Islamophobia and discrimination. In this article, she offers some useful tips about how to treat this sensitive issue when talking to children:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHow was your day today?\u201d I asked my eight-year-old as we pulled out of his Islamic school.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt sucked! We didn\u2019t get to go outside today because they\u2019re soooo scared of the bombs in Paris. That\u2019s so stupid! Paris is so far away and it\u2019s not like those guys can beam here.\u201d<\/p>\n

My heart stopped. My thoughts became a jumble. In panic, I tried starting a conversation with him, but quickly realized it wasn\u2019t going anywhere. I dropped it, and we moved onto his Social Studies project that was due soon.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s how I, a therapist with over a decade of experience specializing in the field of Crisis Response and Trauma, dealt with the issues that are front and center for many parents today. I\u2019ve had plenty difficult conversations with my children, and I regularly coach other adults on how to best broach difficult topics. But this conversation felt fundamentally different. It was more than just breaking bad news or explaining a horrific period in our history. It felt as if I would be making certain assertions about who he was as a human being, as an American, as a Muslim \u2013 his very \"Padres<\/a>identity. And those stakes were too high.<\/p>\n

As parents, we often shy away from having these conversations. We tell ourselves our children are too young, they won\u2019t \u201cfind out.\u201d But reality is, children KNOW \u2015 whether it is the news tab left
\nopen on the tablet or through playground gossip. It is always better to have a responsible adult give them accurate information. We play a crucial role in guiding our children\u2019s thoughts and reactions, both by offering our points-of-view and by modeling our reactions to situations. Perhaps the most crucial part is to monitor our own reactions \u2013 kids get their cues from us, and will pick up on feelings of extreme fear, anger, and hopelessness. Ultimately, NOT having these conversations sends the message that this topic is too big or scary for us to talk about.<\/p>\n

Of course, things have to be explained in age appropriate ways \u2015 start by asking questions about what they already know and what they think happened. Answer their questions honestly and with information you think they can handle. While it is important to emphasize their safety, especially for younger children, it is imperative that we don\u2019t make promises we can\u2019t keep. (\u201cI promise nothing like that will ever happen here.\u201d)<\/p>\n

How to handle the conversation<\/h3>\n

Here are some age-specific tips on having these conversations:<\/p>\n

Preschoolers<\/h4>\n